Major League Baseball's Shocking Hire

Bob Watson, Vice President of Discipline for Major League Baseball, announced that he will retire at year end.  Moving quickly to replace Watson, Major League Baseball has hired well known Lower East Side dominatrix Miss Jacqueline.  In a Semi-Accurate Sports Report exclusive, this reporter sat down with Miss Jacqueline.

SASR: Miss Jacqueline, will you implement any changes to Mr. Watson's platform?

MJ: Silence Worm!  You only speak when I tell you to speak.

SASR: Written note to Miss Jacqueline asking for permission to speak.

MJ: Worm, you may now speak.

SASR: Miss Jacqueline, back to my first question.  Will you increase any of the current punishment standards?

MJ: Yes my little worm.  In addition to the normal suspensions, those naughty little men must wear nipple clamps, get spanked, and play games wearing a ball gag.

SASR: That sounds a little extreme.  Do you think families will attend games if the players are sporting those types of, um, fashion accessories?

MJ: Discipline is necessary and oh so good.  Our players will behave or they will have to deal with me and Woody.

At this point Miss Jacqueline scared me so I left lickity split.  This report will share any other made-up news as it is created.



Don't make this woman angry.